Relationships can be tricky, but most of the problems we face in them are actually quite simple to solve. They often arise from our own assumptions and expectations. This article will walk you through five simple rules that can help you build and maintain stronger, healthier relationships.
#First Rule: Stop Assuming, Start Asking
Our presumptions are the source of 90 out of 100 relationship issues.Let’s use an example to better grasp this: Imagine you had a scheduled meeting with someone at 5 p.m., but they were unable to arrive on time. You begin assuming things about them as they get later on, based on your preconceived notions and prior experiences. You can assume that they were at home or that they didn’t want to attend the meeting. They never arrive on time, they don’t pay attention in our meetings,” and so forth. You begin drawing unfavorable conclusions.
Alternatively, you might do away with these presumptions and ask the other person directly, “Why were you late?” The individual will typically give a voluntary reason, and it can include a significant event like a medical emergency. But here’s where 90 out of 100 individuals go wrong. They just assume things without asking. Positive relationships can be ruined by these false beliefs. Therefore, starting today, don’t assume anything if you are unsure about it. Ask right away.
#Second Rule: Never Stop Communication
You and the other individual should always be conversing with each other. Even though you might not always agree and there might even be clashes and arguments, communication should never end. Like air, communication is essential to life. The connection ends when communication breaks down. As a result, I have witnessed numerous interpersonal and professional relationships deteriorate.
It starts with fewer phone conversations, then it moves on to fewer messages, and finally it ends with less Facebook and Instagram likes. The relationship eventually ends as communication deteriorates over time. You won’t even be aware of what took place. Whether in a political party, a sports team, or a corporate team, the relationship ends when there is no communication. There should always be communication.
#Third Rule: Trade Expectations with Acceptance
It’s critical to keep in mind that having high expectations for our lives can frequently result in frustration and discontent. Without their knowledge, we frequently have expectations about other people, including expectations about their actions and behavior. It’s critical to exchange acceptance for expectations. Efforts and anxieties ought to be directed on the things we can control rather than the other people and circumstances that are out of our control. While it’s acceptable to have high standards for ourselves, we shouldn’t do the same for other people. Rather, we ought to give people room and accept them for who they are.
Fights can arise from unfulfilled expectations in many relationships, including marriages. We may make our relationships better by putting acceptance instead of demands at the center of our attention. Although this change could be difficult, it could result in more satisfying relationships with other people.
Rule #4: Donate More Than You Take
“Be a giver, not a taker.” Think about the idea of give and take in teams or business settings. Determine who contributed more and less, settle the account, and balance it. But the idea of give and take shouldn’t matter when you’re in a loving relationship. To give more than you take should be your ultimate aim in life. Always try to go above and above in any connection, whether it’s with a supervisor or a subordinate. In relationships such as those between husband and wife, brother and sister, mother and son, or father and son, the emphasis should be on giving rather than taking.
In business terms, I call this the “Power of Extra” at times. It’s critical to both meet and surpass expectations. Giving more than you take in relationships is what I focus on. When you start offering more, the other person might not notice or comprehend what you’re doing at first. But over time, if you do this regularly, it will create a strong foundation of trust and produce a really high-caliber relationship.
#Fifth Rule: Keep Allowance for Bad Moods or Mistakes
Your spouse is at home, and you are at work. You’ve been in a different mood than them for the entire day. There are differences between you both in terms of circumstances, emotions, health, and obstacles. Maybe you had wonderful news to share when you returned home, like getting promoted, but your spouse was furious because you discovered something had happened at their parents’ place. When you broke the good news to your spouse, she did not respond appropriately. She is unaware of your circumstances, and you are unaware of hers. Every day is unique in terms of moods, physical states, feelings, and energy levels.
You should give each other the benefit of the doubt and make accommodations for the fact that your lives are so diverse from one another. If something similar occurred, it’s possible that your partner made a mistake or was not feeling well. Humans are fallible beings, not machines. When we make mistakes or are in a foul mood, the other person ought to be understanding and encouraging. When one person is upset, the other ought to make an effort to lift their spirits or offer sympathy and understanding. Give your partner support and understanding when you witness them making errors, having a rough day, or being in a foul mood.
Helping them will do wonders for your relationship.
Although they begin in a single day, relationships are forged over time. Relationships require regular maintenance, much like a plant that has to be watered, fertilized, irrigated, and other attention. Healthy relationships require work, tolerance, and understanding. You may strengthen and increase the fulfillment of your relationships by adhering to these five rules. Recall that maintaining a healthy relationship takes time and regular care. Apply these guidelines right now, and you’ll see improvements come to pass.
Authored by: Deepak Bajaj, India’s Leading Life & Business Transformation Coach
Aly Goni and Jasmin Bhasin on Susanne Khan